Amaranth

Photo by Aron Mifsud Bonnici

Trapped somewhere between life and death, a young woman seeks freedom and peace while she tries to remember what drove her to kill herself.

Eva Hamilton remembers wanting to die, and the relief she felt as she fell to her death, but not what drove her to it. Alone and filled with regret, she exists now in her own private purgatory, destined to dwell amongst the living, never able to communicate with them.

When Eva meets Timothy, she hopes she has found someone who can help her uncover the secret of why they are forced to remain amongst the living, and if there is any escape. But Timothy is far more accepting of his fate, and seems content to ponder, rather than solve, the riddle of their existence. Torn between the warmth of Timothy’s friendship, and the aching desire to find a way out, Eva must choose between comfort and darkness.

But maybe there is a third option; a chance meeting with two grieving orphans has Eva thinking there may be a purpose for her after all.

Back in 2009 I awoke one morning from a dream that I had started writing a novel about a girl called Eva. The name of the book in the dream is way too embarrassing to share with you, but it did plant the seed of an idea in my mind.

I have been writing in one form or another since I was five or so years old. I used to write little books, complete with (terrible) illustrations, staple them together and give them away as gifts. Even back then I would brag about how I was going to be an author when I grew up.

The problem was that I never had any truly good ideas. Even when I decided to study “Professional Writing” in my 20s, I had a horrible time coming up with ideas to complete the assignments. I’m fairly sure most of what I wrote was complete rubbish. Don’t get me wrong, I think the writing itself was probably quite sound, it was the fact that it was based on almost nothing that brought it down.

So anyway, after I had the Eva dream I started to think about writing again, for the first time in years. Walking home from work one day I looked around at the other people going about their business and thought to myself, “I really don’t pay attention to any of these people. They could be ghosts, and I would never know.” And the idea for Amaranth was born.

So I decided to finally start writing a novel. The ideas, for once, came thick and fast. I just sat down one evening and started to write. The more I wrote, the more the story formed in my mind. I badgered Chris constantly about whether he thought this or that idea was good and, though he would claim otherwise, he helped me shape the idea into something I could apply a story to.

Around the same time, I discovered Authonomy; an online writing community run by Harper Collins in the UK. It’s a place where anyone who has 10 000 words of a book written can upload it and share it with other writers. You can also sign up as a reader, so I signed up, made a profile and started to plot out those first 10 000 words.

Not long afterwards, I fell pregnant with my daughter and the whole project was more or less shelved. I did write bits and pieces while I was traveling for work in Japan and the US, but there was something about the plot-line I had in mind that just didn’t sit right. I decided to leave it alone for a while and concentrate 100% on motherhood.

Throughout my daughter’s first year, Amaranth would pop up and swim about in my head now and then, the idea would morph and change, and then slink back into my subconscious. It wasn’t until Ella started in kindergarten and I had a few moments to myself that I felt ready to think about it seriously again. I cringed as I took out what I had written nearly two years before, ready to throw out the lot and start again.

To my shock and delight, for once in my life I was able to look back at something I’d written and feel that it wasn’t complete tripe. Even with the way the idea had morphed and evolved in my mind, almost all of it could be salvaged with a bit of massaging and tweaking. So I cracked my knuckles and go to work.

Before long, the 6 000 or so words I’d written before were tightened up and adjusted for the new ideas I had, and they grew into 10 000 in no time at all. I uploaded what I had to Authonomy and got active on the site, reading, commenting and meeting people on the forums.

When I went back to work, I decided to keep one day a week for my daughter and I, so that she wouldn’t be in daycare more than two days at a stretch. But before long it became obvious that she had a great time at kindergarten and got horribly bored at home with me. It was time to put her in full time.

But since I was already used to the reduced salary, I discussed the idea with Chris and my boss that I keep that day free to write. I gave myself to the end of 2011 to make a go of it, and if I found that I wasn’t getting far enough, or wasn’t using the time effectively, I’d come back to work full time.

By the end of 2011 I had written almost 40 000 words. I was getting a lot of very positive feedback from Authonomy members, as well as the family and friends who read what I had so far as well. So this year I have given myself until March to get the first draft finished. I will then spend some time editing, taking into consideration the feedback I’ve been given, and getting it polished up and ready for submission to agents.

To date, I have written almost 55 000 words, and am on track to be finished in a few weeks. So, if you’re interested, please feel welcome to visit Authonomy and read what I have so far: http://www.authonomy.com/books/38477/amaranth/

If you’d like to offer feedback, you can either sign up for an account on Authonomy and do it there, or simply leave your comment on this post.