Deadly infectious disease knocks down men in record numbers

Latest medical research has uncovered a previously unrecognized infectious disease that affects millions each year. It can hit you out of nowhere, it is deadly, and it could be fatal. Most who have been ravaged by it will tell you they only narrowly escaped death.

It is MAN FLU!

Attacking only males of the human species, Man Flu comes in many forms, but it is always severe and always requires complete immobilization. If infected with this insidious disease, the patient almost always requires complete bed-rest for several days, or he will collapse and may require hospitalization.

All forms of activity, besides moaning, whimpering, begging for mercy and perhaps the odd Playstation game, are to be avoided. Housework in particular could lead to permanent paralysis or even death.

Baffling scientists worldwide is the fact that a man exposed to the same bacteria or virus as a woman can suddenly, and without warning, fall victim to Man Flu, whereas the woman may only be infected with a simple cold, influenza or pneumonia, and can carry on about her day with only the most minor of symptoms.

Luckily, after several days of bed-rest, most victims of Man Flu escape their brush with death with almost no signs of permanent damage. However, many have severe and lasting psychological and emotional scarring after being told to man the hell up and do the freaking dishes.